I do. And I am full of gratitude. From the beginning, the Lord chose me to be a reckless lover. What seems to be imprudence to the world is really my blessed faith in the power of love. We can only love God as well as we have loved our best loves in this life. So say the saints. Do you want to know God? A doctorate in theology won't help much. A library of learning means nothing if not applied. Do you want to know God? Love someone. Be willing to give them everything you can give and even to die for them so that they might know God's love through you. In so doing, you will know God. You will fail. You will suffer. And you will know God. When you resurrect, you will be a better lover than before. This is all that is necessary. Everything else is a distraction. This is the only way to Heaven, and the Way is Heaven. It begins now.
I've taken a hiatus from the internet because I remembered that this digital world, though it serves a purpose, cannot substitute for the face to face to loving other people that is the life of the soul. This place is supplemental at best. For all of us. Its easy to forget. I see it all the time. People missing out on the beauty of one another, to be absorbed in a screen. I need to love. I'm desperately panting for love. Not my pleasure. Not my satisfaction. Not my possession of anything in this world. Just simple service to someone in need. That is the love I need. All my joy is there. In the darkness of my interior God hides. But in my neighbor, in my family, in my friends, I see His face and I am full.