Yesterday ended up being very blessed. A wave of hope came over me and I was happy and having fun at my job again. Thank you for your prayers.
I might start a book today about how God speaks to us in dreams by James Goll. Last night, I had very strange dreams both in general content and in emotional potency. First, I was transferred to a UPS in some province neighboring the Austrian town of Gaming. I was going to work and earn my PhD there. Then my brother and I chased some hoodlums off my Grandma’s property (not hers anymore) and visited with her for awhile (she has been in heaven for over 20 years now). Mom was doing something to Nanny’s house and needed help, but I had to leave to make some time commitment. Then I was at our family cabin, where I also felt a pressure to leave and make some unknown deadline, despite that I could tell dad needed my help with things there. I watched as several deer came all the way up to the windows and even seemed to look inside. They were just deer at first, then it some cougars joined the group. Eventually, as I stared at them, the deer became sentient and humanesque, communicating to me a vague hostility. One finally broke down the door. I woke up. My emotions during my dreams sometimes differs vastly from what I would have felt if the dream situation actually occurred. Those strange emotions linger for awhile. I don’t know that I can communicate what the feeling is like right now. A species of fear perhaps. Fear of letting someone down, a fear of being left behind, a fear of being delusional, a fear of feeling good, a fear of the unknown. Some of that is just the regular morning fear that comes most days now but with an added sense of mystery and unanswered questions. I should try to be extra quiet.